


repeat

by anthones



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Other, Past Child Abuse, Trans Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 23:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1205029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anthones/pseuds/anthones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha doesn't know how to refer to Natasha other than Natasha.</p><p>Same universe as my roommate AU honestly, takes place some time after the ending of that once I eventually finish it. Pepper is black and Natasha is originally from Siberia, probably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	repeat

Natasha wasn’t quite like Pepper.

 

Anyone looking at them would understand that right away. She’s taller than Natasha and if you’re a more assholeish person, you’d probably point out the little inconsistencies. Bigger hands, hips maybe a little too narrow. But Pepper would just smile at you and politely continue about her day. The only difference in her demeanor would be the eyes that burned into you and made you think twice about mentioning anything like that ever again.

 

And, of course, Pepper was black. Natasha was from Siberia, probably. Parents had never delved too much into that. Just a sort of “yeah, you’re not Chinese, but we’re not sure what you are?” Natasha had been satisfied with this answer for a long time because, honestly, Natasha didn’t know that, either.

 

Even sitting there in the coffee shop, waiting for Pepper to get out of work, Natasha found it hard to think of anything but the name. Natasha. Nothing else. There was no way Natasha could think to refer to Natasha other than Natasha. There had to be something. Pepper had she--she’d had it for so long. But Natasha hated that word for Natasha, every part of it. Natasha was no girl. Natasha had known that for a very long time, had begrudgingly accepted it after throwing one too many fits had led to being hit too many times. Natasha’s parents weren’t too bad--Natasha had heard and seen about many worse things, so Natasha didn’t think it was so bad that Natasha had been bruised a few times over.

 

Natasha shook Natasha’s head. There was no use in thinking about it now. There was nothing Natasha could do but wait for Pepper. Wait and watch, Natasha supposed.

 

There were only a couple of people in the place now. They were far away and ignored Natasha’s presence. Natasha had slipped in with the crowd, ordered nothing, and waited until they had dispersed, before buying a mocha for Natasha. It wasn’t the best thing to drink, but it was the only thing Natasha could stomach from this place. Pepper liked it, though, liked it a lot, and that was enough for Natasha.

 

Natasha sighed. Natasha needed to find the right words for Natasha. It was tiring to have to loop around on the same thing, Natasha’s name, over and over again, until Natasha was almost sick of Natasha’s name. But Natasha had nothing else.

 

It was then that Pepper finally burst in, looking more excited than Natasha would have expected. Pepper worked at an office as a secretary. Natasha couldn’t remember exactly what it was they did, which Natasha felt a little bad for, but Pepper hated the place so much that it probably didn’t matter. They usually met up in the coffee shop so Pepper could get her favorite drink and decompress. Natasha had always been a good listener, Natasha had found, and Pepper really appreciated that in times like this.

 

With the look on her face, though, Natasha wasn’t sure Pepper needed to complain today.

 

“Nat,” she squealed, rushing over to their usual table. She was practically bouncing. “Nat Nat Nat Nat.”

 

People’s eyes were drawn to them. Natasha understood that probably happened a lot because Pepper was gorgeous and drew everyone’s attention all of the time, but now it was uncomfortable, probably because Natasha had spent the past twenty minutes circling in Natasha’s head. Natasha didn’t like that feeling at all and didn’t want others to maybe notice it.

 

“What is it, Pepper?” Natasha said, voice meeker than Natasha would have liked. Natasha hoped Pepper would notice and calm down just a little bit. Pepper glossed over the tone, though, too caught up in her own excitement.

 

“I have to tell you about what I found at work today,” she said, haphazardly collapsing into the chair opposite Natasha.

 

Pepper having cute pictures of puppies or new hilarious comics to share wasn’t new. There was a lot of down time at the office and Pepper used that to her advantage. They had never lit this kind of fire in her before, though.

 

“I know you’ve been having problems, like, with pronouns recently,” Pepper started, and Natasha almost wanted to crawl even further into Natasha’s head. Natasha must have made some sort of face, because Pepper’s face fell a little and she lowered her voice. “No, no, honey. It’s nothing bad. I just noticed… you kind of grimace when I talk about you with other people, you know? And I know it’s not a timidness thing.”

 

Pepper would be the person to notice this, Natasha realized. She was too… Pepper not to.

 

“So, I just… was looking today. To help you figure something out, you know?”

  
Natasha nodded. Natasha wanted to hope, but Natasha had done this, too. There were a lot of pronouns out there--he, she, they, it, ve, ze, xe, ey--but none of them had ever fit, had never felt right. There wasn’t anything that Natasha felt described Natasha.

 

Pepper bit her lip and smiled.

 

“And I think I found something.”

 

She took a pen and a small notebook out of her purse and scribbled something down, covering it with her hand. Natasha didn’t even try to look. Natasha was buzzing with too much excitement. Because. What if?

Pepper smiled down on the piece of paper, looking very proud of herself, and slid it across the table.

 

Natasha looked down at it, heart beating fast now. Natasha wanted them so badly. What if Pepper was wrong, though? Natasha was afraid. Natasha didn’t like that at all.

 

The words were strange to Natasha. They were actual words instead of a simple jumble of letters like the others always looked. Blinking a few times, Natasha realized they looked like spider. These were spider pronouns.

 

“There’s been a real push for themed pronouns online,” Pepper supplied. “Trying to make people more comfortable, you know? In case the others don’t fit.”

 

Natasha blinked. No, spide blinked. Spide smiled. Spide had it. Spide finally had it.

 

Spide jumped up and hugged Pepper, spides entire body shaking.

 

“Thank you, Pepper,” spide said. “Thank you so much.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> spide pronouns coined by tumblr user princenstolas


End file.
